I completed the 8-week MBSR course locally (Durham, NC) last year when I was pregnant and now have a 9 month old. I’ve seen a few mentions that there are alternatives to long retreats for parents of young children, but haven’t been able to find any actual examples of what this might be. Has any one else worked on or completed their MBSR teacher training while parenting a little one? Any suggestions or helpful tips? Other than continuing with my daily practice, what steps can I accomplish from home? Thanks so much!
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This is a great question!!!
Great question! I’m also looking for that information as I have 2 young children.
I’m also interested in what CFM’s position is on this. As a single parent of a 2 year old it’s near impossible for me to do regular retreats at the moment.
Hello, all,
I’m just seeing this question, based on the recent post, so apologize for the delay in responding. I will bring this question to the Oasis team for consideration. In the meantime, I can give you my personal sense of this.
First of all, it’s wonderful that you have an interest in the professional training pathway. I imagine you have read up on it, and you have seen that Oasis requests that teachers and teachers-in-training take regular silent retreats. This has been an important support to my own practice and the practice of leading others in developing in mindfulness. When I started practicing, I had two 14-year-olds and a 2-year-old. I had to call on friends and family for help, because my husband and I were very serious, together, about taking retreats. I was lucky to have a well-established network in my town. Friends and family rallied around and supported us to go away for 5-7 day retreats. Sometimes, one of us would go on retreat and the other would stay home, and then vice versa a few weeks later. Friends and family would step in here and there as needed. Sometimes, my husband and I would go together, and would patch together a complete coverage plan. I think about families who make it a priority for the couple to go away on vacation together, even for a weekend, and who find a way to make it work. This can be very important for the long-term health of a marriage. For us, it wasn’t vacation together that was that important; it was retreat.
All that said, I know this is not always possible for everyone. And, if it is not possible to go on retreat as a teacher-in-training, will it be more possible to do so in coming years? Part of discerning whether one is ready to undertake this training is to consider the long-term ramifications of committing to an annual silent retreat. With very young children, it may be some time before you’d feel comfortable committing to that annual retreat.
Connie mentions above that she’s heard about retreats that accommodate families with children. This is an interesting idea. I have not seen these advertised myself, but then, I haven’t been looking for them. If you can find this style of retreat, and you’re considering taking one as part of the requirements for the Oasis teacher training pathway, please reach out to us directly with that information. Then we would have something we could respond to. Generally, when someone is asking whether a retreat is in compliance with our requirements, I hand it back to the person and ask them to do some research. Is the retreat mindfulness-based? Is it teacher led? Is the retreat held in silence? This last question might be the most challenging; however, if the spirit of the retreat feels supportive for deep investigation and presence, you might feel strongly that the design of the retreat meets the needs of your own development as a teacher or teacher-in-training. This would be important for us to know and hear about. I have found the Center for Mindfulness very accommodating over the years, when I and when folks have approached with a solid case for what feels right and fitting in a particular situation. However, if people are trying to hurry through the development pathway, then a good question to practice with might very well be: What’s the hurry?
As I mentioned, sometime in the coming weeks, when the Oasis team is all together, I will ask them to tell me if there’s more to say on this, and I’ll get back to you all then. This response may be helpful for you to take back to your local meditation centers, to let them know what is becoming more of a need in the world.
I hope this has been helpful. Please keep up the conversation with each other about good supports for practicing parents and aspiring teachers. Your children are benefitting so much by your intentional quality of presence. The world needs you to make this a priority! All the best to you,
Margaret
Thanks Margaret, I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. I
would be most interested in shorter retreat options while I still have very
young children as way to get engaged in this process now as opposed to
waiting several years when my child (maybe children in the future) will be
older and able to be without me for more than a couple days. I’ve read in
the materials for the certificate process that there are alternatives to
the long retreats for parents of young children, but not seen what those
alternatives are - that’s all I’m asking about. Would I be able to do
several short retreats - weekends or day-long - and have those count as one
long retreat? I wasn’t asking about retreats for families, sorry if that
wasn’t clear. I would love to be able to do a long retreat and plan to when
my family is able to better handle it. I’m the primary breadwinner in my
family, so I have to be judicious in my choices for taking off work,
finding alternate childcare, etc. I’m not in a hurry, just looking for
something to work on to grow and learn and develop personally and
professionally.
I will be very interested to hear what you all talk about as a team.
Thanks!
Connie
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Thanks, Connie. I am not aware of the place where the alternatives for long retreats for parents of young children are mentioned. Could you send me a link to the page that you saw that on? I would need to read that, to respond to your response here. Many thanks, Margaret